16.12.09
// 105 picking sides

(two weeks ago)
she asks me why i allow myself
to get so agitated by someone who's
clearly full of rigid and unfounded
notions of people.

i shrug and say something along the lines
that the statements are sweeping, insinuating
and based on presumptions from over a decade ago,
although it is apparent to me that
my dissatisfaction stems largely from
the fact that some of the bullshit is
misdirected towards her.

and though it's built on a foundation
of tough love and restraint,
it is unconditional,
to her, and all the ones that matter.

no holds barred.

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10.11.09
// 104 in the crossfire

use somebody;
someone like you.
// paramore cover


it's not existent;
but we just keep believing.

turn it off
// acoustic version

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5.11.09
// 103 thirty after ten

Life didn't shape up, the way that you planned it;
The life you live is not the one you imagined
I know you've had a lot of junk that you gone through
but don't forget that I'm always praying for you

// kj-52/bianca reyes. you're gonna make it

the irony is
i don't necessarily believe,
but yes, everyday.

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30.10.09
// 102 and all would envy...

It don't matter what you see
I know I could never be
Someone that'll look like you.

All the right moves - OneRepublic

// all the right moves video
(very awesome masquerade party)

picking emotions.

these days i think that envy isn't all bad
if it somewhat drives a person to do better
(albeit possibly for the wrong reasons).
after all, an impetus to act is better than
an idealistic philosopher who cannot practice
what he theorizes.

i guess the most detrimental aspect of envy is
not in the notion of envy itself, but rather, in
select incidences when it reveals how ridiculously
presumptuous some people are, and how you'd
think age or experience would teach a person
otherwise, but it doesn't seem to be the case.

i cannot fathom how one could assume that another
person's life is devoid of worries, expectations,
obligations, crushed ideals, emotions, ebb & flow, etc;
perspective is vastly varied and we often fail to
recognize this.

having said that (and going totally off tangent),
i think that it is more valuable to recognize
and appreciate certain qualities in a person,
though this would be 'admire' and not envy.

and if i could pick something to be envious about
it would be the 'invincible' mindset associated
with youth. fearless.

please?

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27.9.09
// 101 heavensent

"you don't know what you've got
til it's gone" -

i tell myself periodically,
but one cannot brace himself enough
when reminders about the transience of life
manifest into a reality.
/
an essential part of daily routines.
idiosyncrasies and antics;
presence

gone.
//
and i hope you know how much
you mean to me.

heavensent.

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10.9.09
// 100 metal heart, or so it seems.

Iron bars
Iron heart
Iron bars
Everything

but they don't realise that we bleed the same.

// dull life. yeah yeah yeahs

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30.8.09
// 099 a tabbed passage.

"...wherever they might be
they always remember
that the past was a lie,
that memory has no return,
that every spring gone by could never be recovered,
and that the wildest and most tenacious love
was an ephemeral truth in the end"

- one hundred years of solitude.

and a memory is just that, isn't it.

// costanza. in the sun

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